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A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States. “ The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: “Why is it required?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The circus owner tells them: I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” The girl says, “I’ll go first. “She walks past the … Read more
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it. The man said, “Cure it, I want to prolong it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy goes to an interview for a job as a government accountant. The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?” The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam. “ “Good, “says the interviewer, “that counts in your favor. Do you have any service related disabilities?” The guy says, “In … Read more
A produce farmer walks into a bar carrying a box of some of his freshly harvested vegetables and orders a beer. “Keep an eye on that farmer, “the bartender tells a waitress. “You won’t want to miss it when he starts dancing. He’s incredible. ““How will I know when he’s going to dance?” the waitress … Read more
Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything. Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You’ll never get anything new. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?” “First of all, don’t give him anything to drink. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job. “ The second woman says, “Oh that’s nothing, I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!” To which the first replies, “Whoa, I just can’t picture your … Read more
Doctor: “Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?” Patient: “Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn’t have the money?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The wise old Mother Superior was dying in a monastery hidden in the mountains’ hills. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received … Read more