Convicted Murderer
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes, “replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
authority
Tail Lights
A police officer stops a woman on the highway and walks up to her and asks her if she knows why he stopped her. “No. “, the woman replies. “Because you don’t have any tail lights”, the police officer told her. So she gets out and walks around to the back of the car and … Read more
Friend Again Approached
All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The wedding’s off, “he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and … Read more
Spoke Well Sister
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim. “ “I know, … Read more
Redneck Cowboy
A redneck cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree,and goes into the bar for a cold beer. About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied … Read more
Bedroom Hold
A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. “Don’t you love him anymore?” asked the lawyer. “Oh, I still love him, “she replied, “but all he ever wants is to make love, I can’t take it anymore. “ “Instead of divorcing him, why don’t you try charging him every time he wants … Read more
Wear Scruffy Clothes
A man comes home and finds he has a letter from the Inland Revenue, advising him that he’s going to be audited. In a panic, he calls his accountant:”Oh my God, I’m going to be audited, what do I do?” he says. “Don’t worry, I have all your receipts and paperwork in order. “says the … Read more
John’s Door
Two policemen knocked on John’s door in the evening. They said, “We’ve been getting complaints. “ “You should start doing a better fucking job then. “said John. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Water Hazard
Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, … Read more
Donkey Stop
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man, “This donkey has been trained in a very unique way. The only way to make the donkey go is to say Hallelujah, and the only way to make it stop is to say Amen. “ The man immediately got on the animal … Read more