A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report. “Roger, listen, “he told the host, “Walter’s in the kitchen making love to your wife!” “OK, that’s it, guys, “Roger said. “This is positively the last deal. “ This … Read more
A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband. The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed, so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man.’ A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise. There are three other companies after me.’ … Read more
Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
“I don’t think I look thirty, do you, dear?” asked the wife. “No, darling, not now, “her husband replied. “But you used to. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Patrick, a teenager , worked part time in a hardware store. One day a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed. Patrick, trying to be helpful, suggested, “Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead?” The customer … Read more
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’ This joke is included in … Read more
Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money. Two weeks ago she asked for £50. Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’ Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there. “ Bobby: “No probs, Dad. “ Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on … Read more
A retiree said to his 80 year old friend, “Is it true you’re getting married?” “Sure is. “ “Have I met her?” “I don’t think so. “ “Is she attractive?” “Won’t win any beauty contests. “ “Can she cook?” “Can’t even boil an egg. “ “Is she rich?” “Rich? Heck, she’s so poor she can’t … Read more
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. “See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!” “So it’s the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another … Read more