A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998” and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answered “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953” and they were once again amazed. … Read more
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting … Read more
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly. “ On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. … Read more
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well, “says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. “ “Oh, no. “the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come … Read more
The Queen was showing the prime minister around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. “Oh dear, “said the Queen, “How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that. “ “It’s quite understandable, “said the prime minister, and after a moment added, “as a matter of fact … Read more
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen. “Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” … Read more
Four members of the clergy had a theological argument, with the three male ministers siding against the female minister. The woman prayed, “Lord, I know I’m right. Please send us a divine sign to prove it. “ A big storm cloud materialized and there was a clap of thunder. “See, “said the woman. “It’s a … Read more
Jessica never went to church. She always promised to go but never did. The pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter she was there for every Sunday service. Three months later, after a Sunday service, the pastor asked her, “What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it … Read more
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, “Pig!” The man immediately leans out his window and replies, “Stupid cow!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the … Read more
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, “I would like to see a bikini that fits me. “ Clerk, “Me too… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.