Fire Chief

Two firefighters are butt fucking in a smoke filled room. The chief walks in and yells, “What the fuck is going on in here?” The one firefighter says, “He was suffering from smoke inhalation. “ So the fire chief asks, “Why didn’t you try mouth to mouth?” The firefighter says, “How the hell do you … Read more

Spoke Well Sister

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim. “ “I know, … Read more

Bloke Cried

A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback. On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one … Read more

Everybody Stands

A preacher goes into a bar and says “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up. “ Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says “My son, don’t you want to go to heaven when you die?” The drunk says “When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking … Read more

Dog Well

Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says “I’m in love with my dog. “ “Well that is not so unusual, millions of people love their dogs. “ “But doctor, you don’t understand. I’m physically attracted to my dog. I’m in love with my dog. “ “Well, is your dog male or female?” “Female, of course, … Read more

Deaf Twin Shouted

Twin sisters in a Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures… One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, … Read more

Priest Blessed

During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the third was an engineer. The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head … Read more