An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man, “he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger. “ “Who asked you to make me … Read more
“Doctor!” said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, “I want you to tell me very frankly what’s wrong with me?” He surveyed her from head to foot. “Madam, “he said at length, “I’ve just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use … Read more
Craig was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. Craig helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair. “My goodness, “Craig exclaimed. “You are quite old to be driving!” “Yes, … Read more
The Doctor told Frank to avoid any unnecessary stress… To comply, Frank did not open his bill. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Doctor: “You need new glasses. “ Patient: “How do you know? I haven’t told you what’s wrong with me yet. “ Doctor: “I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem. “ Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?” Doctor: “Every two hours. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Doctor: “I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?” Patient: “I was just following your orders, Doc. “ Doctor: “Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order. “ Patient: “You told me to … Read more
Nurse: “Doctor, doctor! The man you’ve just treated collapsed on the front step! What should I do?” Doctor: “Turn him around, so it looks like he was just arriving!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A heart surgeon came to a mechanic to repair his car. The mechanic had a look at the car’s engine, opened a valve and fixed it. The mechanic said, “I repaired the engine which is the heart of the car. You also operate on the hearts of humans, so our jobs are quite similar. So … Read more
A man asks his doctor: “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?” The doctor asks the man “Well, that depends. Do you drink?” “Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water. “ “Do you smoke?” “No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I … Read more