A man is in a bar talking to his friend.
“Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house. “
“Did he get anything?”asks his friend.
“Yes, “says the man.
“A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk. “
This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.