Two friends decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven’t bagged any. One hunter looks at the other and says, “I just don’t understand it, why aren’t we getting any ducks?” His friend says, “I keep telling you, I just don’t … Read more
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine’s Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad’s lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I really do need to take a … Read more
The King and Queen decided to get pets, and for this reason the King issued a decree: “Handsome reward for finest Royal pets. “ The Queen immediately falls in love with a white, kitten with long hair bred in a faraway land. Some time after payment, the kitten disappears and the distraught Queen sends the … Read more
“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I don’t know, I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her … Read more
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little too much and growls at him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an … Read more
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: “Purebred Police Dog $35. “ Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned … Read more
During camouflage training a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. “You simpleton!” the officer barked. “Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?” “Yes sir, “the soldier answered apologetically. … Read more
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, “How odd. Scottish sheep are black. “ “No, no, no!” says the physicist. “Only some Scottish sheep are black. “ The mathematician rolls his eyes … Read more
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo. “ “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do … Read more