A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. “Bartender, a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please” The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, says “Did. . did you just talk?!” “Yes I have, why?” Said the dog “It’s just incredible! I’ve never seen a talking dog! You know, you should … Read more
A parrot was in a cage in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg. A man walked in looking to buy a pet, so the shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the … Read more
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got run over by the traffic and the cars were sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. … Read more
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, “$2000. “ The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. … Read more
A guy gets a parrot but it’s got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird’s attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming … Read more
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber ignored it, and took the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber started to get a little worried. … Read more
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. “ “Nah, he’s not so smart, “the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three … Read more
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, “What’s the matter, old man, didn’t you ever do anything wild in your life?” And the old man says, “Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I … Read more
Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?” Man: “Yes!” Reporter: “Name?” Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim. “ Reporter: “Sex?” Man: “Three to five times a week. “ Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?” Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel. “ Reporter: “Holy cow!” Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general. “ Reporter: “But isn’t that … Read more
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots … Read more