Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, … Read more
A blonde goes to the doctor’s and finds out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” This joke is included in the Black … Read more
Doctor: What’s wrong with your brother? Boy: He thinks he is a chicken. Doctor: really? How long has this been going on? Boy: Five years. Doctor: Five years! Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
Dentist: “This will hurt a little. “ Patient: “OK. “ Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper … Read more
A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah, “the patient responded, “You … Read more
An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old general sends for his trusty Indian scout. “You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here. “ The trusty Indian scout lies down and puts his ear to the … Read more
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: “It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age. “ Patient: “The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that my leg does not hurt?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining to a prospective patient. He told her, “I’ll install a special screw in the top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever you need a little tuck, we’ll just tighten the screw a little,… and … Read more
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.