Fair Trade
A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children”… He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Family
Half Sisters
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of registration. “He’s a magician, “said the new boy. “How exciting. What’s his best trick?” “He saws people in half. “ “How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?” “Yep… one half brother and two half sisters. “ This joke is … Read more
Solvent That’ll Dissolve
A father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day, and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. “What are you working on, son?” “A universal solvent, “explained his son. “A solvent that’ll dissolve anything. “ His father whistled, clearly impressed, … Read more
Opinions Expressed
On the first day of school, Peter handed his new teacher a note from his mother. The teacher unsealed the note, read it, looked at Peter with a frown, and placed the note inside a desk drawer. “So what did she write?” Peter asked. “It’s a disclaimer, “the teacher said. “A what?” “It says, ‘ … Read more
George Washington’s Clock
A politician died and went to the pearly gates. He peered over the angel’s shoulder and saw several clocks. He asked the angel what the clocks represented. The angels told him the hands of the clock only move when someone is lying. The man saw George Washington’s clock on the wall and asked the angel … Read more
Fourth Type
Son: “After I graduate college I want to become a sales person because there must be hundreds of different types, which gives me options. “ Dad: “There may be many different types of products but there are only three types of salespeople… The first type will take your commissions and doesn’t care if you know… … Read more
Wasn’t Misguided
The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy. “ “That was a very misguided thing to do, my son, “said the priest patiently. “It wasn’t misguided at all, … Read more
Beaten Half
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars, “replies the … Read more
Adam’s Suit
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible. With fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages. “Momma, look … Read more
Wider Area
The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle. “ “Well, “said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?” “Probably not, “said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area. “ … Read more