A male crab and a female lobster are dating, but they are hiding it from their parents for obvious reasons. Eventually the lobster gets tired of all the secrecy and she tells her father, who is furious and forbids her to see the crab again. “But why can’t I see the crab again? We’re in … Read more
“Come on now, a child of five could understand this!” “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go fetch me a child of five!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. “Mom, “said the little boy, “what are all those women doing?” “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work, “she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, … Read more
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, … Read more
After many years of service, a rich lady decides to fire her maid and hire someone younger. When she hears the news, the maid takes a steak out of the fridge and throws it to the family dog. “Why did you do that?” asks the lady of the house. “I will never forget a friend, … Read more
Dorothy, the little daughter of a tire salesman, had seen triplets for the first time. “Oh mother, “she cried out upon returning home, “what do you think I saw today?” “I can’t imagine, dear, what?” “A lady had twins, and a spare!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son, the proud father said, “Now is a good time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally, … Read more
Mrs Laura, a kindergarten teacher, asked her class “what things we can eat?” “Bread” “Yes” “Hamburger” “Ok” A five years girl answered “Light”, “Omg” shouted the teacher, “how can light be eaten?” “Last night I heard mom whispering to dad ‘turn the light off and put it in my mouth’“ This joke is included in … Read more
Mother Lion: Junior, what are you doing? Lion Cub: I’m chasing a hunter around a tree. Mother Lion: How many times must I tell you not to play with your food? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars, “said the woman. “I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? A less expensive way?” “Sure, “she replied. “Run for president. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more