Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. “Eggs, “replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. … Read more
A elderly lady, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. She walked up to the bartender, and … Read more
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. “Was I getting in the tub or out?” she yells. The 94-year-old hollers back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up to see. “She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, “Was … Read more
An old man is being interviewed on live TV “Hello everybody. We are with Michael, who is 97 years old. Michael, tell us, what’s your secret?” “During the war, I sucked off a Nazi soldier in exchange for food. “ “…I meant about your age. “ “Ah… Eating healthy. “ This joke is included in … Read more
“Excuse me, this coffee tastes like mud. “ Waiter- “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says, “Smoking a joint; come up and have some if you like. “ So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and … Read more
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it. The first nun replied that … Read more
A man walks into a bar and says “I just got back from the battered women’s shelter, and boy are my arms tired. “ Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter’s pantry, regardless … Read more
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, “A crocodile, a crocodile!” The woman woke up and asked, “Where, where?” A man cried again, “O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A produce farmer walks into a bar carrying a box of some of his freshly harvested vegetables and orders a beer. “Keep an eye on that farmer, “the bartender tells a waitress. “You won’t want to miss it when he starts dancing. He’s incredible. ““How will I know when he’s going to dance?” the waitress … Read more