Marriage

Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup, “said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I’m going to miss her terribly. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that. “ The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but … Read more

On his Birthday, a man named Oliver was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office, his secretary Emma said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. At lunch … Read more

A guy calls his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, “Who is this?” “This is the maid, “answered the woman. “We don’t have a maid!” “I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house. “ “Well, this is her husband. Is she there?” “Ummm…she’s upstairs in … Read more

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. “ “You … Read more

While examining the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. “I’m sorry, Mr. Schwartz, “says the mortician, “But I can’t send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity. “ The mortician removes the penis, … Read more

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. “Jack, I’ve got to confess — I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I’m the father of your daughter, and I’ve been stealing from the firm for a decade. “ “Relax, “says Jack, “and don’t think about it. … Read more

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the … Read more

At a men’s clothing store, a customer asked the shop assistant to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out. “Ma’am, “he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home. “ “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years, “the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a … Read more