An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I’m getting married again next week, doc!” “Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?” “She’s 19. “ “That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!” “Ah well, in case she dies, I’ll just have to … Read more
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Nick. “ The passenger asks “Who?” The cabbie says “Nick Benson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It … Read more
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, “No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a … Read more
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair … Read more
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished – but then realized “it’s only going to cost us $30 per year. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn’t wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promptly shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing … Read more
When a woman became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest, “he said. “How long have you been married?” she asked. “Ten years”, he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p. m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and … Read more
Harry’s wife says, “Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?” He says, “No, our house isn’t blue. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.