A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha¬¬! That’s not going to help, “she said. “Sure, it does, “he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
My wife told me, “Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat. “ “You’re much bigger than that. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, “I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!” “Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive. “ “I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?” “Oh NO! I just said that the way you … Read more
A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten again. “ On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, … Read more
There was this man who walked into a bar and said to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?” The man says, “I found out my brother is gay and is marrying my best friend. “ The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. … Read more
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. “I want to pee whiskey, “he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want. “ “No, I want to pee whiskey. “ The genie thinks what can it do, … Read more
Jake was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!” “Really?” … Read more
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking. “ “Really, “said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back. “ “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back. “ “Yes we can. I’ve … Read more
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return the curious girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go to in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room … Read more