A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy. “
The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
“Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”, again the bartender brought her a Martini.
By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on.
She called, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn. “
Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, “Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray. “
This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.