“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy. “Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went, “he answered. “But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” “But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore, … Read more
After shopping at a busy store, Jessica and another woman happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then Jessica’s car horn beeped, and she was able to locate her vehicle easily. “Wow, “the other woman said. “I … Read more
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles. “ “She did, “he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake SUV?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
An elderly couple living in Florida had not seen their son and daughter for quite a while. The mom called the daughter living in New York and told her that mom and pop were going to get a divorce right after Christmas because they couldn’t get along after 35 years of marriage The daughter called … Read more
Steward got a call today from a distorted voice saying “Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife” Both options were tempting, but Steward decided to take the money. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jim was in trouble, because he forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 4 seconds and it better be there!” She was serious too, so Jim got serious. The … Read more
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living … Read more
A woman walks into her psychiatrist’s office and says, “Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don’t come out the way we meant them to?” The psychiatrist replies, “You mean Freudian slips?” “Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my … Read more
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “Ninety eight, “she replied, “three years older than me. “ “So you’re 95?” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
The after dinner speaker was droning on and on and on, bringing everyone to tears. One of the guests, fighting to keep his drooping eyelids open, turned to the lady on his right and said, “Can nothing be done to shut him up?” “If there is, I’d like to know, “said the lady, “I’m his … Read more