A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: “A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment. “ The mathematician: “A wife. You have security. “ The computer scientist: “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend … Read more
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the … Read more
A property manager of a single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked. “We’re a military family, “the wife answered. “Children?” “Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve, “she answered proudly. “Animals?” “Oh, no, “she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved. “ This joke is included … Read more
The guy sitting next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend!” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician!” This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A 70 year old man asked his wife, “Do you feel sad when you see me running behind younger women?” The wife replies, “No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars, doesn’t mean they can drive them. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them… “Bride relatives” and “Groom relatives”. He entered the groom’s relatives door and found two doors again – “Ladies” and “Men”. He entered the men ‘s door and found two doors again. “People with gifts” and “People … Read more
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself. “You know, love” she says, “I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is wrinkled, and my body isn’t what it used to be. “ … Read more
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted, “she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me. “ “My mother!” he exclaimed. “Did she call you?” “No, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it. “ He looked stern, “I see, and where does the … Read more
Husband: “I want to tattoo your name on me. What do you think, shall I do it on my arm or neck?” Wife: “How about on your will?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my … Read more