A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks at the guy and asks: “What’s wrong with your turtle?” “Not a thing, “the man … Read more
Two guys are out hunting deer… The first guy says, “Did you see that?… pointing to the sky. “ “No, “the second guy says. “Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!” the first guy says. “Oh, “says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, “Did … Read more
Patrick left the pub after having too much to drink. He was taking the underground home. As he started to get on the escalator, he read the sign: ‘Dogs must be carried on the escalator.’ He shouted, ‘Now where am I going to find a dog after midnight?’ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses. The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: ‘Can your dog perform other tricks?’. ‘But of course’, the man answers, ‘he can even gratify a woman’. … Read more
A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, “What are you doing?” A blind man replies, “Nothing I’m just looking around! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day. “ The guy says, “Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so … Read more
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, “Ohh my god Texas seats are really big. “ He went to a bar and asked for a beеr and when the bartender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, “Wooww Texas mugs are really big. “ Later … Read more
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. “Jeremy, could you not have raced faster?” “Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer. “ The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. “Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer. “ The bar owner … Read more
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the … Read more