Dog Died
“Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn’t breathe?” “You’re not fooling me dad, a chair!” “Not this time, your dog died. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Animals Jokes
Polish Sausage
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage. “ The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was … Read more
Donkey Stop
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man, “This donkey has been trained in a very unique way. The only way to make the donkey go is to say Hallelujah, and the only way to make it stop is to say Amen. “ The man immediately got on the animal … Read more
Christmas Please
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?” Mother: „No, you’ll be getting turkey, like every year!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Lizard Climbs
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says, “Smoking a joint; come up and have some if you like. “ So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and … Read more
Dorothy Goodness Gracious
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. ? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer. “ Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my … Read more
Barn Moments Later
Three friends, a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn. “ “No … Read more
Lion Stops Dead
The circus owner tells them: I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” The girl says, “I’ll go first. “She walks past the … Read more
Butcher Takes
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. “Please let me in, “says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one. “ “Okay, “says the butcher, “let me … Read more
Grandma Fiona Explains
Grandma asks little Fiona, “Did you have a nice play outside?” Fiona smiles, “Yeah, I was playing pretend and I was a lovely bird!” “Oh that’s beautiful. Did you sing nicely?” says Grandma. Fiona explains, “No, I was eating worms!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more