In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around. “ A seal says to a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate. “ A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I … Read more
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won … Read more
A chat between mice in the Lab. First mouse: “I finally got that scientist trained. “ Second mouse: “How so?” First mouse: “Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying. “Why are you guys crying?” she asked. One replied, “One of the elephants just died. “ “The big elephant must have been your favorite animal in the zoo?” she asked. “No, Ma’am– love has nothing to do with it. The boss … Read more
A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he. First, he asked a giraffe. The giraffe did not know. Next, the lion asked a bear. The bear had no answer. Then the lion asked a hippopotamus, and again got no answer. Finally, the lion met a mouse. … Read more
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and … Read more
An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes. “ “And what would your friend have?” “Nothing, “replied the antelope. The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?” “Hey, if he were … Read more
At a circus there’s a calamity and two lions escape. They manage to grab hold of a clown and start devouring him. One lion turns to the other and asks “Does this taste funny to you?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A car mechanic was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the transmission he was repairing. Distracted by a customer, the mechanic returned to his work to find his dog, a cocker spaniel drinking the gasoline from the bowl. He yelled at the dog, who took off running. In fact, the … Read more
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes, “replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” … Read more