One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run… but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus … Read more
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have an electric car”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures it’s easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. “Well you’re in luck I have two in stock, a man’s brain for $10000, and a woman’s for $1000. “ Surprised, she asks why the price difference? “Generally women’s brains run cheaper because … Read more
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well, “says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. “ “Oh, no. “the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come … Read more
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and says “Edna, I’ve got some good news … Read more
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir, “the older one replied. “I see, “said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your … Read more
“Doctor, “the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore. “ “Mr. Henry, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do. “ So, the worried fellow returned with his wife on the following day. The doctor greeted the couple and … Read more
An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear. The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took his tweezers, reached in, and pulled something out. After examining the object for a second, he exclaimed, “Well… it seems you inserted a suppository into … Read more
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating room, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything … Read more