Mitchell saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. “In over 20 years I haven’t because I try to remain professional. “ With that Mitchell dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn’t any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrollable … Read more
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you … Read more
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars, “he answered, “because I want to donate it to my favorite Institute of Technology” The next applicant, a … Read more
“Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift. “ “Tell her to come in. “ “I cannot” “Why so?” “Because she does not stop at this floor. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A 75-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. “ The next day the 75-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, … Read more
Joey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, “he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two … Read more
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks. “ “And did he?” “Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Patient: “Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?” Doctor: “How old are you now?” Patient: “Forty. “ Doctor: “Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?” Patient: “No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice. “ Doctor: “Then why do … Read more
Two lawyers had been lifelong friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. … Read more
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news. “ “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live. “ “That’s terrible, “said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you … Read more