Family Jokes

Josh received a text message from his ex-wife “Guess what, I now know what a real dick is like. “ He replied, “Yeah, I’ve seen you with him. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

A wife and husband went on a backpacking holiday. On the first night the husband said, “I think there’s a monster under my bed…” “Grow up, “she replied. “No, really, “he continued. “It’s hideous…” “Stop pissing about, “the wife snapped. “I knew it was a mistake letting you have the top bunk. “ This joke … Read more

Geoff walked by the bathroom, where his wife was covering her face in creams and lotions. “What are you doing?” he asked her sarcastically. “I’m trying to make myself beautiful. “his wife said. 15 minutes later, Geoff walked by again and she was wiping it all off… “Are you giving up already?” he asked. This … Read more

There was a guy named John, who was the most positive guy in the world. Every time anyone said something negative, John would always say, “It could have been worse. “ One day, John’s coworkers all got together and decided to come up with a scenario so bad that John couldn’t say that it could … Read more

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. “Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes, “she yelled to her lover. “And jump out the window. My husband’s home … Read more

A middle-aged woman reads that vaginas get wider and deeper with age. So she tries to check her own by stripping off, putting a mirror on the floor and spreading her legs over it. Suddenly, her husband comes in and grabs her arm, violently pulling her away from where the mirror is laying. “You could … Read more

A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby. “Look at the size of his willie, “says the man. “It’s massive!” “Yes dear, “says the woman. “But at least he’s got your ears. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

“I love you loads, honey pie. “Tom’s wife said earlier. “And I love you tons. “Tom replied. “What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed. Sometimes Tom had the impression the fat cow’s going deaf. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Husband: “Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” Wife: “Because I married the wrong man!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

A housewife buys a parrot to keep her company during the day. The clerk warns that the parrot was donated by a brothel, where he may have picked up some colorful language. The housewife doesn’t mind and brings the parrot home. When she uncovers the cage, the parrot says, “Brawkk! New Madam. Hello, Madam. “ … Read more