A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order … Read more
A mechanic comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. He grabs the guy and drags him naked down the stairs to the garage,where he grabs the guy’s cock, puts it in a vise, screws it down real tight and removes the handle of the vise. Then he rummages … Read more
A man comes home and sees a note on the refrigerator from his wife. She wrote, “This isn’t working. I’m at my mother’s. “ The man opens the fridge, the light turns on, and he says to himself, “What the hell? The fridge is working fine!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” “I was … Read more
With the circus in town, a local man is very excited to see the magic show and rushes down to the big top. He reaches the gates just as the circus is closing for the day but manages to buy a ticket and hurriedly runs into the tent. “Where’s the magic show?”, he breathlessly asks … Read more
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was: “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s:”Perform the fucking autopsy!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Isaac and his friend Adam, who’s looking a little depressed, are at a synagogue talking. … “Adam, I’ve seen you feeling a little down over the past few times. Is everything alright?” asks Isaac. “My son is getting married next week” says Adam. … “But Adam, many of our congregants’ sons are getting married. That’s … Read more
A man to a friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’ Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Claire, after retiring from a busy life in business, travels around the country visiting antique shops trying to find bargains. One day she goes to an antique shop, where she speaks to Victoria, the shop’s owner, “When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a … Read more
A father was explaining to his son about the sex. “There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you’re still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime – but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is … Read more