Word Contagious Johnny

Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is “contagious”. Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can … Read more

Beautiful Banquet

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it. “ “Very good, Suzie, … Read more

Baby Brother We’ll

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of … Read more

Johnny Shook

““If you had a dollar, “quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar. “answered little Johnny. “You don’t know your basic math. “said the teacher, shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy. “ … Read more

Blue Jeans

“Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?” “It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. “ “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. “ “I’m not. I’m her mother. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more

Baby Brother

A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “Dad!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok, “his father replied. … Read more

Brown-Haired Kid

Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours. “ The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours. “ “That’s what my father says. “ This joke is included in … Read more

I’ve Lost

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Enough Bait

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived at his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. … Read more

Square Foot Mansion

3 dads bragging about their children’s success gets a surprise when a 4th dad tells them this! Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, “My … Read more