Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and disappears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices he’s not breathing. “Better … Read more
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: “Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?” “There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jerremy was sitting down for breakfast one morning when he was astonished to see in the paper an announcement of his own death. He called his friend at once, “Brad, have you seen the announcement of my death in the paper?” Brad replied, “Yes, and exactly where are you calling from?” This joke is included … Read more
Two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny … Read more
Dick goes into a rough bar and orders a drink. A man sidles up to him and says, ‘I can see you’re a stranger in here.’ ‘Why, yes,’ says Dick. ‘How could you tell?’ The man replies, ‘You’ve taken your hand off your glass.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asks the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain around? The man answered “HEY! ! you ever tried pushing one of these things?! !” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar. ‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three tough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. Without a word of protest, the … Read more
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one … Read more
A drunk is sitting on a park bench staring disconsolately at a bottle of beer. A man passes and asks him what the matter is. “I don’t know what to do, “says the drunk. “My heart says yes, my mind says no, and I haven’t heard from my liver in two days. “ This joke … Read more