A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. “Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!” Says the man. “Oh, well there’s this genie round the back of the bar, and he grants you whatever wish you … Read more
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: “Waiter! Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!” “Please don’t speak so loudly, sir, “said the waiter, “or everyone will want one. “ This joke … Read more
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender says “What will it be?” The sandpaper goes “Just something to take the edge off” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
After browsing the restaurant menu, Melvin had a question for the waitress. “About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a filet?” “Neither, “the waitress said “It’s a fish. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great… I would recommend it very highly. “ The other man said, … Read more
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man’s party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the … Read more
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health … Read more
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the “Restaurant am Fluss” because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they … Read more
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors, “he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in … Read more
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink. “ There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink. “ She … Read more