The missionary arrived in the cannibal village on Saturday, and by Monday night he was history. Looking through his belongings, one of the natives found a magazine and without missing a beat began tearing out pictures of people and popping them in his mouth. Seeing what he was doing, a friend asked, “So…how’s the dehydrated … Read more
A man walks into a barber shop and asks, “How much for a haircut?” The barber said, “$12. 50. “ The man asks, “And how much for a shave?” The barber said, “$1. 50. “ The man then says, “Go ahead, shave it all!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
“Have you been to Rome?” “Yes” “Did you visit The Coliseum?” “Yes” “And ?” “It will be splendid when it is finished” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A lawyer phoned the governor’s mansion shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the governor, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor’s assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Pierson just died, and I … Read more
A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, “Counselor, you … Read more
A bodybuilder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says “What a great chest you have. “ The bodybuilder tells her “That’s 150 lbs. of dynamite. “ He takes off his pants and the woman says “What massive calves you have”, … Read more
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial, “the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure, “replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?” The first vampire says, “Blood. Give me blood. “ The second vampire says, “I too wish for blood!” The third vampire says, “Give me plasma. “ The Bartender smiles and says, “Got it. Two … Read more
John asks: Why are you drinking so much? Joe says: Because I donated my body to science, and I am preserving it until they are ready to use it. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.