Battery Acid

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. “You just won’t believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it. “ “Oh yes dear, what happened?” “I came across two guys down by the canal, … Read more

Screw Herself

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. “That way, “he explains, “if she doesn’t like one, she can use the other. “ The second man says he had bought his wife a … Read more

Bright Flash

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four”. Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell … Read more

Acute Angina – Old Got

An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, “I should tell you I have acute angina. “ The old man says, “I hope so. You sure don’t have cute tits. “ This … Read more

George Laughed

George looked over the backyard fence and admired Joe’s wife while she sunbathed topless. The next day, George corners his neighbor on the driveway saying, “I saw your wife sunbathing in the backyard without her top on yesterday. “ Joe was quite put out over the peeping incident and told George he planned revenge. That … Read more

Hours Late

A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day. “ The guy says, “Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so … Read more

Drunk June Everybody

A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, “Happy New Year everybody. “and the waiter says, “We are in June you drunk man. “ And the drunk man says, “Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!” This joke is included in the … Read more

Red Knows Rain

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain. “ His wife asked, “How do you know?” “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Won Fiver Tenner

A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” Wife says, “I would take half and leave you”. Man says, “Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.