An individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. “Due to lack of maintenance, “he read, “we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account. “ This joke … Read more
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “Ok old fart, time for you to retire. “ The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has … Read more
A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records. The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’ ‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man. ‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’ This joke … Read more
A man was praying to god for money and fame. Another one comes and sneers at him, “I always pray for honesty, modesty and other noble qualities in life “. The man says “Very well mister, one always asks for the things they don’t have!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for two tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry, “The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema. … Read more
A guy walks into a bar with his dog. He takes a seat and says, “I can bet 50 bucks to each of you that my dog can talk!” Everybody around agrees to the bet. The guy says, “Charlie, speak!” The dog is silent. “Charlie, speak, “the guy repeats. The noble dog still doesn’t react. … Read more
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, “Hey, that’s a good idea. What’s that called?” The lady responded, “It’s a condom. “ The other lady said, “Where … Read more
A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, “I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop. “ The bartender said, “There is no way you can do that. Sure, … Read more
Morty and Ian are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Ian, a banker, says to Morty, “Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don’t swim so well. “ Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Ian, helping him float towards shore. … Read more
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, “Today we have lobster tales for 1 dollar only. “ He said, “I’ll take a dozen!” She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, “Are you ready … Read more