A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat. “ The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to … Read more
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later. “ The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way. “ After the MPs ran off, … Read more
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severely bleeding. The officer asked, “Can you describe the person who did this to you?” The Irishman replied, “That’s what I was doing when he hit me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. … Read more
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler, “the man replied. “I use those in my act.’ “Well, show me, “the officer demanded. So he got out the … Read more
Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It … Read more
There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. “You’re Drunk!” exclaimed the police officer. “Thank God for that!” said the drunk, “I thought the steering had gone. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A man takes examinations for the driver’s license for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him “So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; one young and the other an old woman. Which … Read more
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the … Read more
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead. “ Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his … Read more