Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. “Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back. “ Six months pass and Peter returns. “Yes, we can do this … Read more
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman. “ The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped. “ The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it … Read more
A small kid was on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: “What are you doing there kiddo?” “I’m playing… “ “What are you playing?” “Oh, well… I collect sand, I pour some water in and then I add some poop and I’m making … Read more
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you. “ The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the crosswalk. The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a … Read more
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer … Read more
One Sunday morning,a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she’s going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up. “Yes, … Read more
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says “Convert to Christianity, and we’ll give you $100. “ The one says to the other, “should we do it?” The other says “NO! ! Are you crazy?” The first guy replies “Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars… … Read more
Elderly Man: “Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic. “ Priest: “I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war. “ Elderly Man: “I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed. “ Priest: “That’s not a good thing … Read more
A priest was talking to a group of kids about “being good” and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?” “Heaven! Heaven!” Yelled Little Lisa. “And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the priest. “Dead!” Yelled Little Johnny. This joke is … Read more
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin’ and a shakin’. The first flea asked, … Read more