Religion

Silk Robe

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A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven. Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, “OK, we’ll … Read more

Final Request

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Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then the three men are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison … Read more

Christmas Santa Isn’t

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One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run… but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus … Read more

Pain Please Allow

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to … Read more

Causes Arthritis Mister

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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled … Read more

Sunday Service

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Jessica never went to church. She always promised to go but never did. The pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter she was there for every Sunday service. Three months later, after a Sunday service, the pastor asked her, “What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it … Read more

Gates Saint Peter

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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven. “ The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It’s a … Read more

Didn’t Believe

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Man: You’ve brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn’t believe in Hell. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Can’t Count

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Margaret was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. “Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?” “Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk, he’s not going to notice you. “ Sure enough, Margaret’s husband crawled into bed, but … Read more