A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, “Armani, $100 an ounce. “ On the next floor, an equally beautiful woman steps on and says, “Chanel, $150 an ounce. “ The old lady’s floor approaches and as … Read more
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They spend a fortune to rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and … Read more
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when a very sexy woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him “Do you have any luggage?” The photon replies, “Nope, I’m traveling light. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said … Read more
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin’ and a shakin’. The first flea asked, … Read more
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, “My Ryan loved to fly, so I’m going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in … Read more
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice. “ The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in … Read more
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “̈”Of course child. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive women’s electric hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll … Read more
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, “Oh! So you wanna race, huh?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more