A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah, “the patient responded, “You … Read more
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper … Read more
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over … Read more
“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?” “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn, “soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it … Read more
Patrick, a teenager , worked part time in a hardware store. One day a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed. Patrick, trying to be helpful, suggested, “Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead?” The customer … Read more
“I don’t think I look thirty, do you, dear?” asked the wife. “No, darling, not now, “her husband replied. “But you used to. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!” “Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man, a wanted poster. The poster reads: ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots. ‘ “What’s he wanted for?” … Read more
It’s night and a drunk is crawling along the pavement looking for something. A passer-by offers to help and asks what’s missing. The drunk replies that he’s lost his watch. ‘And where did you lose it?’ asks the passer-by. ‘About half a mile up the road,’ replies the drunk. ‘So why are you down here?’ … Read more