A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors’ help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, “You don’t understand! Taste it. “ A volunteer tried it … Read more
A soldier sought shelter in the cook’s tent during a dust storm that swept over the camp during war maneuvers. He noticed that the lid of the soup kettle was awry, permitting dust to blow into the soup and called it to the cook’s attention. “If you’d put that lid more firmly on that kettle, … Read more
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something … Read more
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, “Can I have a toothpick?” The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the … Read more
A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy. “ The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”, again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the … Read more
Two deer hunters met in the woods. The first one said to the other, “Boy am I glad to see you, I’ve been lost for hours. “ The second deer hunter said, “Don’t get too excited, friend, I’ve been lost for three weeks. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn’t walk to church. The preacher said, ”If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you. ” … Read more
The Golfer asked his Caddy, “Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, “The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An engineer goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding bottle. “ “OK, “says the clerk. “What do you call it?” “A fottle, replies the inventor. “ “A fottle? That’s a stupid! Can’t you think of … Read more
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him. Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case. ‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’ ‘Why?’ asks the judge. ‘He won … Read more