“Open wider. “requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. “Dear God!” he said, startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen. “ “OK Doc!” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice. “ “I didn’t!” said the dentist. … Read more
A redneck goes into a doctor’s cabinet and says “Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!” “Well how often do you have it?” the doctor asks. “Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, twice a day”, he answers back. “That’s not so much”, says the doctor. . … Read more
David got a letter from the doctor one day. “Brilliant!” he said to his wife, “The doc says I must have daily sex!” “No, you stupid cunt, “she replied once she’d read it, “He says you must have dyslexia. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
Paddy and Murphy chatting about wanking. Murphy asks Paddy if he’s ever had a blow job off the vacuum. Paddy thinks for a second and replies, “No, never!” That night, Paddy’s got sex on the mind, looks over at the vacuum and recalls Murphy’s question and thinks…. fuck it! Why not? He plugs the vac … Read more
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out of a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser and one of the officers got in the … Read more
Doctor says to his patient: “Your liver results are back. And frankly, they’re very surprising considering that I only allowed you one glass of wine per week. “ The patient shrugs: “Do you really think you are the only doctor I am going to?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that the sex enhancing pills aren’t going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a … Read more
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. George ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Telma Wilson, … Read more
She entered the office of a noted divorce lawyer. ‘I want to know if I have grounds for divorce?” she asked. “Are you married?” asked the lawyer. “Yes, I am. “ “Then, “he replied, “you have grounds. “ A conversation between patients in hospital. Roger: “Why did you run away from the operation table?” Stephen: … Read more
An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were traveling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out. “Thank you very much, “said the lady, “but why did … Read more