A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients. “ “And you all came to pay your respects? How touching. “ “No, … Read more
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, James, gave me £15,000. And you, Ronald, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide … Read more
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness: “Yes, sir. “ The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?” The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches. “ The lawyer: … Read more
“Young man, “said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” “I’m glad to hear you say that, “replied Jack, with a sigh of relief. “Everybody else says it’s all my fault!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news. “ “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it. “ “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is within limits. “ This joke … Read more
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah’s Witness. He declined, as he hadn’t seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. “You have, Your Honor, “the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter. “ “Ah, yes, “recalled the judge. “Twenty years!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, “What is 2+2?” The engineer thought for a while and finally answered, “4. “ Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, “4. 0” Then … Read more
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After a while, he chose a bronze rat and brought it up to the counter. “That will be $10 for the bronze rat and $1,000 for the story behind it, “said the proprietor. “Thanks, but I’ll just pay the $10 and pass on the … Read more
A witness was called to stand to testify about a head-on automobile collision. “Whose fault was this accident?” the lawyer asked. “As near as I could tell, “replied the witness, “they hit each other at about the same time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more