Lift Sister Stop
“Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift. “ “Tell her to come in. “ “I cannot” “Why so?” “Because she does not stop at this floor. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
medical
Jar Which
A 75-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. “ The next day the 75-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, … Read more
Met Joey
Joey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, “he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two … Read more
Sell Feet Bill
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks. “ “And did he?” “Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Drink Gamble Smoke
Patient: “Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?” Doctor: “How old are you now?” Patient: “Forty. “ Doctor: “Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?” Patient: “No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice. “ Doctor: “Then why do … Read more
Car Occupant
Two lawyers had been lifelong friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. … Read more
Worse News
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news. “ “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live. “ “That’s terrible, “said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you … Read more
Raf Roo Reep
During a cold winter day an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in … Read more
Hour Later
Doctor: “What seems to be your problem?” Patient: “When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour. “ Doctor: “Try getting up one hour later. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Couldn’t Pick
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do. “ “But I don’t have the fingers!” “Why didn’t you bring the fingers?!” asks the incredulous doctor. “Doc, I couldn’t pick them … Read more