A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory . “Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box. “ His colleagues are disgusted by the … Read more
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, “We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middle aged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years. … Read more
Doctor: “Liquor is a slow poison for you. “ Patient: “It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay but after a … Read more
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat. “ The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to … Read more
Mitchell saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. “In over 20 years I haven’t because I try to remain professional. “ With that Mitchell dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn’t any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrollable … Read more
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you … Read more
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will. “ “That is very kind of you, “said the doctor emotionally, and … Read more
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars, “he answered, “because I want to donate it to my favorite Institute of Technology” The next applicant, a … Read more
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it’s inoperable – in fact, it’s so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains – there’s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an … Read more