A lady goes into the hospital to have a very serious operation. While on the operating table and undergoing preparation, she flatlines and soon finds herself standing before St. Peter. She begins to wonder what she is doing there. “Are you sure that I’m supposed to be here, St. Peter?” St. Peter says: “Let me … Read more
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you. “ “I know, “said the man, “but … Read more
A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, “They tell me that you are a real lady killer. “ The doctor smiled and shook his head. “No, I make no distinction between the sexes. “ This joke is … Read more
The nurse burst into the doctor’s office. “Doctor!” she yelled, “you just gave a clean bill of health to Mr. Smith and … and he dropped dead right outside the door!” The doctor jumped into action. “Quick, “he said, “We’ve got to turn him around so it looks like he was just coming in!” This … Read more
An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, “Well, you’ve got some problems, all right, but if you’d give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you’d last a good while longer. “ “But Doc, “answered the man, “I don’t smoke, drink, or chase … Read more
An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor to complain about pain in one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, “Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can’t expect too much. “ “That’s true, “the man agreed; “but Doc, so is the other one and it’s not bothering me like this … Read more
Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy’s mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, “Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!” Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens … Read more
Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal. Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper. Doctor: To make your will? Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
An elderly woman was brought to the emergency room with a fractured hip. The ER doctor knew that surgery would be in order for the patient. “Have you ever undergone surgery?” he asked. “Yes, “the woman said. “Remember what type of surgery it was?” “I’m not sure, “the old lady said. “It was a long … Read more
A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was too cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the … Read more