A doctor and a lawyer are involved in a car crash. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor is a little shaken up, offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, has a drink and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you having one yourself?’ asks the … Read more
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. … Read more
After 10 years, a mother can no longer deny that her child does not look like her or her husband, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents. Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. “ Husband: “What’s up?” Wife: … Read more
A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real. She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and … Read more
Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the … Read more
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd … Read more
A little boy said he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one. The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple weeks with no baby brother, he didn’t bother to ask anymore. A few months later Dad said Mom was in the hospital and had a surprise. … Read more
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy … Read more
A newlywed couple wanted to invite their friends over for a steak and mushroom dinner. The wife had all the ingredients except the mushrooms. The husband said, “There are plenty of mushrooms growing in the backyard. “ “Are you sure?” said the wife. “They could be poisonous?” The husband replied, “I will give one to … Read more
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn’t quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing “Delivery Room Fee: $400. “ He wrote to the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. After a week … Read more