A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They came up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year. “ The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could … Read more
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom ruled by a kind but aging king. This king had a single daughter, beautiful and clever, but incredibly picky regarding suitors. At first, the king entertained many foreign princes and young nobles, seeking the hand of his daughter in marriage. However, the princess insisted every potential groom … Read more
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will … Read more
An old man is afraid that his wife is losing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, “Can you hear me?” She didn’t answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer. Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, “for … Read more
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave. “ The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army … Read more
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss, “he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff. “ “We’re short-handed, Smith, “the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off. “ “Thanks, boss, … Read more
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in California. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he … Read more
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None, “replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away. “ “Well, the answer is four, … Read more
“While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening … Read more
Tarzan comes home pooped and sits on the couch. “Rough day?” asks his wife Jane. He takes a deep breath and then replies, “It’s a jungle out there!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.