A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircut!” she said. The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?” This joke … Read more
Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger! Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him, … Read more
An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. He takes out an ad in the newspaper, but two weeks later, there’s still no sign of the mutt. “What did you write in the ad?” his wife asks. “Here, boy, “he replies. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap. The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?” The parrot says, “France – they’ve got millions of them there. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
While at the dinosaur exhibit in Disney’s Animal Kingdom park, a confused blonde complained to her friend. She said, “How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?” This joke is included in the … Read more
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The … Read more
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, … Read more
After many years of service, a rich lady decides to fire her maid and hire someone younger. When she hears the news, the maid takes a steak out of the fridge and throws it to the family dog. “Why did you do that?” asks the lady of the house. “I will never forget a friend, … Read more
In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around. “ A seal says to a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate. “ A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I … Read more
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won … Read more