A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well, “said the vet, “let’s have a look at him. “ So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put … Read more
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen! ” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me! ” The man says: ”You go up … Read more
A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork … Read more
A policeman visits an address. “Mr. Mattew?” “Yes, “the man who opened the door replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike. “ “That’s not possible, my dog doesn’t have a bike. “said Mr. Mattew This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying. “Why are you guys crying?” she asked. One replied, “One of the elephants just died. “ “The big elephant must have been your favorite animal in the zoo?” she asked. “No, Ma’am– love has nothing to do with it. The boss … Read more
A man was walking through the grounds of a university one morning when he noticed a young blind woman struggling with her guide-Dog. The animal was resolutely pulling in one direction, she in another. When he offered assistance, the young woman replied, “No thanks, this is a family argument. The dog knows I’m supposed to … Read more
Two hunters are in the forest. Bob: I just met a great big bear in the woods. Mike: Did you give him both barrels? Bob: Both barrels? I gave him the whole gun. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Mother Lion: Junior, what are you doing? Lion Cub: I’m chasing a hunter around a tree. Mother Lion: How many times must I tell you not to play with your food? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
There’s a guy who’s hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and … Read more
An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes. “ “And what would your friend have?” “Nothing, “replied the antelope. The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?” “Hey, if he were … Read more