A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, … Read more
One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks, “Does your dog bite?” The old man replies “No never”. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. … Read more
A guy walks into a bar and asks, “Who owns that Doberman tied up outside?” A man replies, “That’s my dog”. “Well, “says the first man, “I think my Chihuahua killed him. “ “Your Chihuahua killed my Doberman?How’d he do that???” asks the man at the bar. “I’m not quite sure. I think he got … Read more
Two men were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking himself. One man said “I wish I could do that. “ The other man said “You should probably just pet him first. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. “ “Nah, he’s not so smart, “the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three … Read more
A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place. “ This … Read more
“Well, I reckon you’ve been a pretty good horse, “said the farmer. “You work hard and I ain’t had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster. “ “NO!” said the horse, “I said ‘feedbag’ not ‘feedback’. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. Visiting the pet store, the young wife asked for a good guard dog. “Sorry, we’re all sold out, “the clerk replied. “All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But … Read more
In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town’s veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, “Is your husband there?” “He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?” the wife asked. “Both!” was the reply. “We … Read more