Old Farmer Peter was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: “When I’m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones. “ Wife: “No, I can’t marry anyone after you. “ Peter: “But I want you to. “ Wife: “But why?” Peter: “Jones once cheated … Read more
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist: “Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself as a horse. “ The psychiatrist says: “Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy. “ The woman: “Ok, don ́t worry, we have enough money because my husband has … Read more
A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long. Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to … Read more
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A married couple goes to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, “Where’s the burger?” The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. “I was keeping it warm, “she replies. … Read more
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angrily “WHO’s the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?” A big cowboy sidles up to him and says “I DID. . want to complain to me?” “No, “says the little guy “just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!” This joke is included in … Read more
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in … Read more
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve … Read more
A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me and the dog are going fishing. “ Wife says, “I don’t want to go. “ Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the arse. Wife picked the blow job. After she sucked for a while she said, “It tastes like … Read more
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on … Read more