Doctor Jokes

“Madam, your husband must have absolute rest. “ “Well, Doctor, he won’t listen to me. “ “A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the … Read more

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy … Read more

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions,undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he … Read more

The patient staggered to the pharmacy counter flinching. “Say, would you give me something for my head?” The pharmacist looked up. “Why? What would I do with it?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well, “he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. “ “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your … Read more

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, nobody pays attention to me…” “Next please… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

A man was feeling terribly out of sorts and decided to go to the doctor so he made an appointment and showed up the next day. After the doctor examined the man,he invited him into his office for the consultation. The doctor came into the room with three different bottles of pills. The doctor told … Read more

“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!” “Do you drink a lot?” “Not really – I usually spill most of it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt, “the man said. “You don’t know how it feels. “ “I know exactly how it feels, “the doctor said. “I had the same procedure last … Read more